Monday, March 21, 2011

Please, Don't Pray For Me When I'm Gone

Today, I was reading a very tragic story about a young woman who lost her life before her time. For once, the entire comments section was respectful, offering their condolences to the family. But I was disturbed by the walloping amounts of God-centric language, such as promising that the girl was now in heaven, that God would protect her, that God would protect the family.
If that had been a funeral where everyone was 100% sure what the girl (and her family's) religious affiliations were, that would be fine, no problem. But I started thinking about how, assuming I had a ghost or had some way of knowing what people were saying about me after I died, I'd be peeved if a whole bunch of people, whether family or strangers, started saying that I was in Heaven now, and that God would protect me, or my family.
It is disrespectful to presume that I would have a religion where some sort of Heaven was included in the afterlife package. It's disrespectful to even presume I have a religion, period. It would be a bitter pill for me if the exact same people who, during my lifetime, are telling me I'm going to Hell, decided to have a heel-face turn if I had an unexpected death, and honey up with the "In God's hands" and "Heaven" language.
So, let this be my public statement on this issue right now, while I am breathing and of sound mind (whatever that means) Here we go:
After I die, I don't want a single person promising to pray for me, or for my family. I don't want anyone saying that I'm with God now, or going to Heaven. By the accounts of most religions which have a Heaven and Hell, I am going to Hell for being who I am and believing what I do. Regardless of what your beliefs on the subject are, I don't care for you acting like I would have wanted what you want out of death.I'm the one who is dead, and I don't want you pushing your ideas of the afterlife on my soul. When I die, express condolences to my family and loved ones, and if I happen to live to a good age, be happy I led a rich, full life. If not, then hope that you and my loved ones can continue doing what I am passionate about now that I can't take it on myself. If I die of a tragic illness or a tragic event, donate money to a cause looking for a way to help survivors.
But above all else, no prayers please. It would be insulting to my memory to do so.


  1. Thank you for making your wishes known in that regard.

    I was thinking, "Yes, donate to survivors".

  2. Right on! This is excellent. I too like the idea of donating to a cause that I believe in after I am gone. When I was working at a floral shop, one of the things that made me really happy (in a sad sort of way, I guess) was how many people asked that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to a certain foundation that researched the condition or disease the person died of (lots of cancer charities), or that they themselves supported.

    My parents, boyfriend, and most of my friends are very clear on my lack of religion, and I hope that they choose to remember that when I am gone.

  3. thank you.. for saying it 1st, may I please quote you